Use Empathy instead of Judging as a Super Power!!
How empathetic are you? Do you tend to judge or do you have compassion for others? How you treat and react to others will impact how happy you are in life! Your thoughts become your behavior becomes your character… Who do you want to be?
Let’s first start with the Definition of Empathy.
What is Empathy?
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feeling of another. It is a gift to yourself and everyone that comes in contact with you.
What is the Opposite of Empathy?…..Judging
So, to me, Lack of Empathy or Apathy is really most distinguishable in judging others! We don’t empathize with them so we judge them! This keeps us locked in the “small self” or Ego. It is your mind’s natural way of building your self-esteem and self-confidence. BUT contrary to popular belief it really harms you! When you judge others you are really judging yourself! You feel like you are increasing your self-esteem but you are doing the opposite. This is a hard habit to break because our mind has been taught to categorize and group….But there is no greater satisfaction and love you can find once you can break these binds. You become The Light, The Love…Empathy is Love. It is Compassion…for yourself and everyone else.
Note: For more on Empaths (a person with heightened ability to understand the mental or emotional state of another individual), See: Are you a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and/or Empaths: Traits, Protection, and Understanding
You’ve all likely heard….”you have to love yourself before you can love someone else” OR “you have to have compassion for yourself before you can have it for someone else”. These are true! & the same goes for judging….when you judge someone else you are really judging yourself. This is a Reflection of You!
It is easy, so easy, to get caught up in….I can recall using judgments of others to form bonds with groups of people as a way of fitting in. It was a way of displaying that we have something in common, we have similar beliefs! Or even a way of forging a friendship. We’ve all been there! But does this really make us happy? Long Term….No! Short Term…Maybe…but it is a very shallow, short-lived high.
Judging is definitely easier than self assessment, pausing to dig deeper and open up to (for) others and their feelings thus their reality….
I can’t think of a more important time to practice empathy as the political climate is heating up! It’s what the world needs right now! Leader after leader has said it before….
Martin Luther King, Jr. “Hate can not drive out hate. Only love can do that.”
Mahatma Gandhi “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”
Ok, you get it….but how does this make you happy?
How does Empathy Make You Happy?
- The Power of Positive Thinking instead of the inverse of empathy, apathy/judging. Yes the Power of Positive Thinking has been proven!! Studies show a link between positive attitudes and improved health outcomes. These include reduced stress, better coping mechanisms, and even increased life expectancy in some cases. Essentially, positive thinking can have a positive impact on your well-being and actions taken towards achieving goals.
- More Compassion for Yourself which improves Self-Image. Not judging and showing empathy for others increases your compassion for yourself. Compassion is relational and includes both yourself and others!! Here are some ways that compassion for others can lead to self-compassion:
- Seeing the shared human experience. Compassion for others can help you realize that suffering, failure, and imperfection are part of the human experience.
- Being kind to yourself. When you feel compassion for others, you act on that feeling with kindness. You can apply the same compassion to yourself when you’re struggling or feeling badly about yourself.
- Recognizing your emotions. Self-compassion involves recognizing your emotions and being kind to yourself.
- Being aware of negative self-talk. Self-compassion can help you be aware of the negative self-talk in your head and shift it toward more kindness.
- Being supportive. Self-compassion involves being supportive when you’re facing a life challenge, feel inadequate, or make a mistake.
- Self-compassion can lead to greater resilience, lower levels of psychological distress, and higher levels of flourishing and meaning in life.
- You Build Stronger Relationships. How many relationships are destroyed by lack of empathy? Or maybe you’ve heard…he became too critical of me, she didn’t understand me…..this is all lack of empathy. Strong relationships can have many benefits, including:
- Improved mental health: Strong relationships can reduce feelings of depression and isolation, and increase feelings of happiness and life satisfaction.
- Better physical health: Strong relationships can help strengthen your immune system, lower blood pressure, and reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease.
- Improved ability to cope with stress: People in strong relationships are less emotionally reactive to stressors.
- Better ability to recover from illness: People in strong relationships are more likely to survive the first three months after heart surgery.
- Improved self-esteem: Strong relationships can increase your sense of worth and belonging.
- Improved ability to overcome difficult times: Strong relationships can help you cope with traumas like divorce, job loss, or the death of a loved one.
- Improved ability to control pain: Long-term couples have more activation in the part of the brain that controls pain.
- Reduced Conflict. Empathy can help people understand other’s perspectives, which can make it easier to resolve conflicts.
- Increased satisfaction. People who feel heard and respected are more likely to be satisfied with conversations and interactions.
Are you convinced? So how do you start practicing? Start to notice when you are judging and try to understand why…what part of you is this protecting? It is a self-defense mechanism. Are you trying to strengthen an emotional bond in an unhealthy way? Question Yourself. Once you start to notice, you can stop and try to put yourself in that person’s shoes. You can even change the thought pattern into something more positive and constructive. It may not be fun but you will grow and be healthy and happier as a result!
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