How did I get here today? I had to get rid of fear. Fear of what others would think, fear of judgement, fear of failure, fear of all the things…..
But, I am walking through the Wall…”there is no other way but through” (poet Robert Frost)
I know, my why….because writing makes me happy and I want to share…if you don’t like it you don’t have to read it.
Yoga/Meditation/Mindfulness
Through a lot of self-discovery mainly accomplished thru yoga (states of meditation created thru yoga) I created space so that my mind could “pause” from it’s habitual way of thinking. I overthink everything & can become lost in details of what might or could happen…Sound familiar? …this is anxiety.
Your habitual way of thinking (EVERYONE, even you, has this!), becomes your way of reacting & interacting with the world. Stay with me here…
Your Thoughts become your Behavior becomes your Character becomes how you interact w/ the World & how the World sees you. Crazy, huh? Change your Thoughts = Changing Your Life
In today’s world we have too much coming at us at all times…..those group text messages, instant messaging, social media, etc, etc. Our minds are Overloaded!! We do not have time to decide how we want to Respond so we often React (this is: stress, worry, anxiety). Responsibility = The Ability to Respond
My A-Ha: Fear
My “A-ha:” through this process of becoming aware of my thoughts is that I realized I was living life controlled by Fear. Fear of what you might ask? Fear of Everything! #1 I’m a People-Pleaser (I know there are a lot of you out there….I promise to write more on this later).
In fact, I will argue that anything that holds anyone back is based in Fear! It can be said & has been said…
Fear of disappointing someone
Fear of it not working out
Fear of being Too Old
Fear of Loss
Fear of Judgment
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of not being smart enough
Fear of not winning
Fear of making the wrong decision
Fear of not being enough
Fear of being too much
Fear of doing the wrong thing
Fear of saying the wrong thing
Fear of no one caring what I have to say
Fear of not having a voice
Fear of not looking the right way
I could continue to go on but you get the point.
Do I overthink? Hell, yes! &, this may not be you BUT I promise you that you have reoccurring, habitual thoughts that are holding you back that you need to become conscious of to grow. Everyone Does!! I am not unique to this.
Steps to Conquer Fear
So, what have I learned?
#1 Let me tell you, growth is Not Linear. Keep going…I have good days & bad days & so does everyone, I don’t care who you are. We are united in this & in that we are all HUMAN….I think we forget this. You have to have compassion for yourself. For me I found that it was easy for me to have compassion for others but when it came to myself….I didn’t have it. This is a PROBLEM if this you…you have to learn to Let Go….adopt the “who cares” attitude if you’re doing your best. Let Go & get up the next day and take another GO at this thing called life.
#2 Let Go & Do what makes you happy. Don’t allow yourself to “people-please”. I know, I know…easier said than done. I’m not saying any of this is easy! But, it is possible! Nothing anyone says or does is even about you….it is always more about them. But, this doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you….sometimes what you need to let go of is a relationship that does not serve you in any positive way. This is turn creates space for a more positive relationship to take its place.
#3 If it’s not a “Hell Yes”, it’s a “Hell No”!! I can not emphasize this enough. This falls into that “people pleasing” category that a lot of things do &, again it is about creating space for things that are better & more important to you AND for you. Now, there are things we have to do…going to that funeral, etc. You have to be there for your relationships w/ others (but, note, as said in #2, get rid of the relationships that no longer serve your best self).
#4 Nurture Your Relationships/Open Your Heart Life does not exist outside of relation to others. Be There. Care. Be Flexible. Be open to Growth.
#5 Adopt a Gratitude Practice. Most of us do not realize how negative our thoughts are & how this resonates & resounds in everything we say & do. It is said that 99% of our thoughts are negative. Crazy, right? I often challenge my yoga students to notice their thoughts during practice & each time they catch themselves thinking something negative, change it into something positive. A Big One is comparing yourself to others…STOP! Life would be boring it everyone were the same! You have your own strengths to bring to the world.
Challenge: Try this for a week—every time you notice a negative thought, turn it into a positive.
#6 Become Mindful. There are a lot of ways to become more mindful. The point is that you become conscious of the fears that are holding you back. This is the first step in conquering these fears. Some ways to become more mindful: Being in Nature, Yoga, Meditation, Breathwork, Journaling…..try one! Find out what works for you.
#7 JUST GO FOR IT!! Because you don’t have anything to lose…you can only WIN by letting go of your fear(s). If you fail (this is a social construct, btw), you will hopefully learn from it.
I am Open to endless possibilities for myself & welcome growth with an Open Heart full of gratitude. I say no to things & people that do not serve my highest self to create space for my most fulfilling heartfelt relationships & most importantly for my relationship to myself. And, if it speaks to my heart, I will DO IT! I will PUSH THROUGH THE WALL.
We all expect this of our children but don’t do it ourselves in our lives. What is this teaching them?
What is my blog about?
P.S. These posts seem risky to me at times….I don’t really know what to expect. But, I know I enjoy writing about the things that make my life better. These things are (right now at least):
Adventures (travel makes me happy—I find that sense of “wonder” that we all need)
Health & Wellness (you must take care of your mind, body & heart. I teach yoga & believe in yoga’s life-changing powers; it was the first step for me of notices my habitual thought patterns that were holding me back.)
Great Food (my husband & I are foodies who like to go out & cook in!)
Art (fashion, photography, any creative endeavor I love!)
& last but not least, Transforming WTFs into A-has (growth, the meaning of life—I strive to continue to evolve & grow). This is Chapter 2 of this series. You can access Chapter 1 here: https://lifesapothecary.blog/2024/04/21/my-body-my-choice-chapter-1-how-to-curate-the-life-you-want/
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I hope that even it’s in a very small way, I help someone else find their “medicine” in life. Keep Movin’ On!
What fear is holding you back? What have you done to conquer fear?
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